Sophie Oleksuk/ Grandma

Our trip to Canada was inspired by two things - being able to celebrate Dylan's first birthday with his grandma who shares the same day and to visit with my grandmother who is 90 and in poor health.

Sophie has Alzheimer's and has recently suffered a broken hip. She is a dear lady, even despite the hardships that have struck her. Our first visit with her was on Friday, the 4th of July. My dad, Ethan and the kids joined me to visit with her. Grandma was pleased to see us and we spent some time with her outside in the back patio area of the home. I tried very hard to not be emotional like I was the first time I visited her there when Sophia was about 8months old. She was wheel chair bound, but we were able to get some smiles and a few chuckles out of her. I was disappointed Sophia and Dylan were being shy that day and wouldn't sit with her. I know she didn't know who they (or I) were, but little kids are always good for cheering people (especially elderly) up. Grandma kept trying to get Dylan to sit on her tray, but he wouldn't have it.

We spent the week at the cottage and so we weren't able to visit grandma. The weather was pretty bad all week with the exception of a couple days so we headed back to Selkirk Friday rather than Saturday the 12th. A good thing too as we found out that Grandma had a nose bleed and was taken to the hospital Thursday night to stop the bleeding. I feel awful she had to be there by herself, not knowing anyone and not having anyone there who knew her and her condition. When we arrived Friday, she was very upset, had her hands bundled like q-tips and was picking at them trying to get them off. Her nose was bandaged and it was difficult for her to breath. She was so upset she wouldn't even look at mom or I. I was not able to control my emotions this day and was wishing they stocked the rooms with Kleenex. The next morning we went she was given a sedative and had just fallen asleep so we let her sleep. I went back with mom after the kids were in bed and ended up having a very good visit with her that I will hold in my mind forever. I knew there wasn't much to say to grandma as she doesn't remember the past or even 2 minutes ago. I tried to talk about my kids and how Sophia was named after her. I knew these were mostly just names, so I felt the only thing she knows is the present and feelings mean more to her than people and things. So I spent that visit hugging and stroking and kissing her as much as I could. I kept thinking if I was in a place I didn't know, surrounded by people I didn't know or recognize, then having a feeling of at least being loved would mean the most to me. I know she didn't know I was her grand daughter, but I do think she felt my love and that I was someone special to her. I think she was comforted by this and made her happy for a moment. I just wish I could be there everyday to give her hugs, love and fresh flowers. During this visit Grandma made several attempts to speak. Most were mumbles that couldn't be understood, so I tried to cover for her and butt in so she wouldn't feel frustrated or upset that she couldn't get out what she was trying to say. She did get out a few things, though and even tried to make a few of her old modesty jokes. I would tell her Dylan's eyes were blue like hers and that Sophia shared features with her too and though she didn't get it out entirely, I knew she was trying to say " poor kids have to take after me" or "I hope not". I caught on to this and let her know I understood and she was able to laugh. She laughed a few more times and opened her eyes really wide and looked at me. I could see she was happy at that moment and made me both glad and sad that I would have to leave. They gave her a sedative at the end of our visit as she was getting anxious about the wrapping of her hands and kept trying to remove it or get up to leave. I knew she would fall asleep soon and wish that I had stayed until she did. Could be my last visit with her and that makes me very sad. Having that good visit, though, makes me very glad and I will think of it often with both tears of happiness and sadness. Love you Grandma!